"What do i want?"

So I just watched "The women," and I regret not seeing it sooner. It clearly spoke to my personal situations, and in every sense it gave me confirmation, that I AM making the right decisions. A year ago Rich cheated on me and frankly, I never thought it would happen. As stated before in my previous entry, he changed my life for the GREAT. He showed me the world, and taught me so much about many things I am doing & know now. Honestly, I am more successful because of him cheating. His mistake opened his eyes, he realized that 1 selfish decision could cost him everything he worked hard for 4 years and was at the verge of slipping through his fingers forever. And that selfish decision was something I was going to have to make for myself. A question I took away from the movie was " What do I want?" As soon as I heard it and watched Meg Ryan's character go through her transformation of finding herself, I realized I've been going through mine. A year later literally, I know that I do want to be with Rich and be happy with him. He's done any and everything to work it out with me even after a year of bitterness and rejection from me. He taught me a lesson, instead of looking at him as the one who broke my heart, I look at him as the one who made me deal with the wounds. I can now go through the day and be happy with him and finding myself with no more room to hate him. He made me realize what I wanted for myself, in regards to my career, my family life, and my personal life. But don't get me wrong I don't have all of the answers yet, but im much more closer to them then I have ever been. I want to be with him, because through it all he's the only person in my life I have fought within myself to be with and I could never picture my life without him (unless he would do the unspeakable). So im sure of that. As far as my career went I've been sure about it, but I wasn't certain I was making the right strides, but as the doors continuously open, I know that im at the right place at the right time. Personally, "what do I want?" im still working on that. I want happiness, love, and success, but achieving it is a challenge within itself. The one thing I love about myself is that im determined to learn and make a way out of no way. I can thank my parents, for forcing me to learn that, going broke just to ensure a good education, left me with little to work with but my imagination, books, paper, and a pen.